April 2013
7 posts
4 tags
Currently
Relishing in last minute sources, awesome critique from my professor on where to go and counting down this week’s reflection papers.
I have never drug my feet more during any dead week/finals week. I had zero motivation to write my self-analysis last night and had to wake up an hour and a half before class to write my final story. Which included quotes I’d finally gotten yesterday...
I'm still alive and I'm breathing just fine, thank...
I have The Script on the brain today, clearly.
My week was pretty relaxed, with the exception of that one exam today and that one surprise quiz tomorrow. It might not have been such a surprise if dreary days hadn’t made it so hard to get to this one class. Everyone has that class at some point.
Still, I have a meeting to study with a classmate and the worksheet in tow. I think I’ll...
2 tags
Me: What the hell kind of world are we going to bring our kids into?
James: The kind that they're going to grow up and change.
3 tags
The thunder is so loud
But not scary, tonight.
I want it to consume me, all of me.
I want it to scream uncertainty and doubt, and pour out the trials and attempts, the chances taken that don’t end with success stories and don’t answer much, except it all must be meant to be.
Then settle down, stop poring everything out and just lightly seep into a cool early morning.
I know that was super mushy. I...
5 tags
And I am here.
It has come to my attention this semester has been different in both the life and reporting. My heart and soul is dedicated to getting the sources, stories and enough information yet again. The big differences are 1.) I’m full-on enterprising for a grade now 2.) The grade doesn’t come after multiple discussions with editors, but rather a draft only myself, and perhaps a friend have...
March 2013
7 posts
Here's some thoughts for today
Love and toleration are two very opposite concepts.
You may not be rude to someone. You may not hate them. You just think differently than how they live. So you wouldn’t vote for them to have rights that you have. But you’ve never called them names or anything.
That’s not love. That’s toleration. You can tolerate it. It can exist. It just doesn’t deserve what you...
“Sometimes, good things come. But there’s no future in them.”
– Rachael, from Mad Men
2 tags
“I have a life.
And it only goes in one direction: forward.”
– Don Draper
5 tags
A monument, no doubt (this my contain triggers)
Like others yesterday, my attention fixed on the conviction of two Steubenville teens for the alleged rape of a 16-year-old girl, and which angle of the story media outlets chose to cover.
But when reading the further analysis of the case (in text not the video), I had to commend the law officials who promised to investigate witnesses who neglected to report the crime, and officials who may have...
4 tags
And we've arrived at Friday.
Aaaaaaand it is Friday.
Presentation on Tuesday, story for the school paper on Wednesday, first exam on Thursday and two final projects due today.
Tonight I’m meeting the parents and boyfriend for seafood an hour and a half west, then going the other hour and half to judge my beloved high school speech coach’s last home meet tomorrow.
Next week has got to be less insane… right?
Disclaimer: my...
February 2013
7 posts
3 tags
The girl sweeping the lobby
As the blanket of snow that gave us one day to be free from any life obligations melted, the real world showed through again.
I stumbled into my way-too-early web design class and tried to prepare to catch up my work hours I’d missed in the blizzard.
And, just as the windows were scraped off, the old flame entered again: shuffling his feet, looking down, hands in his pockets.
...
“Not one single hurtful thing ever got changed by someone grinning and bearing...”
– (via moniquill)
As if to prove that there really are worse things...
In other news, I will not have qualifications to purchase alcohol this weekend and might have to just put up with a constant heart-attack feeling while never tasting coffee again.
I cannot do ADHD un-medicated for much longer. :(
5 tags
The fam, the fun and the furry
Congratulations! You’re reading my first post from my new laptop. The first was purchased from my ex, and at four years old it’s still alive but barely breathing (not my line). Seeing that its ultimate crash will be age and not damage, as I am a fantastic laptop-mama, my parents said they’d foot the bill for this one.
After finding a small but durable Asus with a great graphics...
Ah hahahaha
I think the one big thing I’m learning in this business is how to deal with PR people. And roll with whatever life/journalism/PR people bring me. And to not make plans. Even when I can’t live without a planner, have company arriving and live by lists and appointments.
The lovely parents are visiting this weekend. Which means hanging out with them for two days straight, showing them...
I fail at self control/life so hard
Saw a lovely fried bagel/peanut butter/banana combo from a Tumblr followee. Was headed straight to buy a banana, eat a low-cost meal at home and study.
Was deferred by a Raising Cane’s just off campus.
Damn you, fried chicken and sweet tea. It should also be noted this recipe holder is nine months pregnant. I really, really fail.
Might as well life update.
I had just enough time to compile a two-minute video for reporting class, and get to class. The export has taken almost an hour. Class has been going on for 40 minutes. Ugh. Here’s what’s been going on while I wait for a grueling 6 percent.
Last weekend a former teacher-turned Facebook friend posted about some free tickets to the Figure Skating National Championships in Omaha....
January 2013
5 posts
5 tags
Discernment
We’re discerning. Marriage. It’s kind of big.
Discerning is a big church word for prayer and consideration, and, in essence, seeing where God wants you and where you’re ready to be.
That’s not to say you don’t think about yourself. God is ever-loving, awesome and understanding. So he gets that I won’t do this until I need to know I’m taking his covenant...
4 tags
In which Tam can't handle meds, not even low...
This was originally on my personal blog; I didn’t want to reblog myself and ruin the privacy of that blog.
I began my “I definitely have Adult ADD and really need to test/get medicated” course in late November. It turns out the records from my first diagnosis at age 11 only existed for 10 years, so I had to test ALL over again.
Was told there IS an H in there right before Christmas break....
The life (post) after death (posts)
I’m sitting in the front pew of the bigger parish in town, which isn’t mine, but its sister church. His mother sits beside me. She’s not crying, not yet. When she does, I’ll grip her hand, only because grabbing someone in a big hug and telling them they mean almost as much to you as your own parent, is a little extreme for the middle of mass. The newer associate priest has just asked us to carry...
“You are the treasure you were trying to find—
Trapped in the map of your...”
– Frek and the Elixir, a local musician in my college town
December 2012
1 post
3 tags
My post-hiatus thoughts on tragedy
It really seems like I stop blogging when one thing I can’t put into words happens, and then another, followed by more until there’s an entire list of events.
This year, especially this year, has been a remarkable mixture of joy and tragedy. I finally counted and resulted at eight losses, or near-losses, in my life between August and now. And I hate saying something like, “I...
November 2012
0 posts
3 tags
The enterprise that opened doors
It ran yesterday.
A week before print, a neighbor’s grandsons, who spent every afternoon playing in their grandpa’s yard and never let me leave my house without saying hello, were killed in a car accident.
It gave me a new sight of death, even after diving into death’s aftermath for six weeks.
And the day of print, people were much more talkative about our university’s...
October 2012
7 posts
“How strange and how lovely it is to be anything at all.”
– John Green, The Fault in Our Stars (via manolescent)
4 tags
So I lied.
I was actually 59 words over.
I just realized, out of nowhere, it’s 1500 words. Not 1550 words.
Now, after adding follow-up answers and the changed story and filling that one gaping hole, I’m a whopping 30 words over.
This suuccckks.
5 tags
Finally feels like a home stretch
I am only NINE words over.
NINE.
I started out having to cut over 300 words.
Then having to add in two follow-up questions.
A source changed her reasoning.
I realized there was still one gaping hole I didn’t see in three weeks (how the hell?).
But 1,559. It’s so pretty. It’s so close.
Meanwhile, I HAVE to figure out next semester before classes fill.
I HAVE to find out if...
7 tags
TMI Tuesday
In 10th grade, I had this really down year, which I guess is similar to everyone else in the world, and we just didn’t think we could tell each other back then - funny how that works.
Anyway, I’d gone through a violation/assault thing the spring before, which wasn’t as serious as rape, but serious enough to be reported and turned against by “friends” of mine and the...
Bit of a breath.
There were two things I predicted happening in the “big enterprise” I’ve been blogging about.
The first, was crying. Just the concept of what I’m reporting making me break down. This hasn’t happened, in part because I had about a week to prepare for the process. I’m also not a huge crier. Emotion hits me and I feel more than any other human being probably...
4 tags
Dialogue of my life.
Me on assignment: Hi, can I have the office of So-and-So?
Secretary every time: He or she is busy/out right now, but he or she would be glad to call you back when you're in the middle of your class or on the phone with another source!
Me every time: Okay, thank you, any time is good!
September 2012
12 posts
Ethics and sources (oh and also a byline)
So today this ran in my school paper. It’s not the heavy enterprise I’ve been blogging about — we’re looking at next week sometime for that.
It’s something I had the sources written out for, I had the contact made and it would be a fairly simple, but telling byline. That being said, this byline taught me a lot of lessons in two days.
The first, that getting all...
Beer in backseats
I remember one of my first tastes of beer.
I was in the backseat of one of my maternal cousins’ cars after my cousin, six years older’s wedding rehearsal. I was not yet 15, and a candle lighter.
I’d been in some ex’s brother’s wedding the weekend before, as a bridesmaid. I thought it was the greatest weekend ever, because the bride was 19 and they’d given me...
6 tags
Daunting: The first draft
I remember telling the nice barista lady my iced toddy was to go, but it looks so pretty in its glass, and these guys are smoking a delicious-smelling hookah beside me on the coffeeshop’s outside dock. Besides, I am perfectly capable of having a coffee alone, taking in this fall air and people watching, pretending I don’t kind of wish someone would sit out here with me in the dark.
At home my...
4 tags
Self Portrait
And so, once I had a fancy camera like that in my name, I decided to take a self portrait — like yours, except the only person you should compare yourself to is who you were in the past.
But I fumbled to turn the camera on, as I was reminded of your own backpack filled with equipment, that only opened at subtlety and at no one’s inconvenience. I knew you knew all the numbers like the...
While covering a local speaker event
What he said: We encourage those at tables to sit with others because there's just too many people at this event to sit two per table.
What I heard: See those cute guys at the next table? Sit with them. Do it. Mmmmm.
8 tags
3 tags
If only to prove the ways of the universe, after...
12 tags
Yesterday
The interviews went really well, even better than I ever could have expected.
By late in the night, I still wasn’t sleeping, and that just added stress that oh my gosh I’m going to drive two hours and have to be most professional I’ve ever been on five, four, three hours of sleep. After tons of prayer, thought, tossing, turning and opening my Bible, I think I ended up getting...
Researching a tough process and even tougher...
I’ll be sure I post the byline here first, but I’m sure there’s some ethical rule of journalism that says you shouldn’t blab about whatever you’re in the process of doing — either that or it will just ruin the idea of anyone reading it.
Regardless, I’m leaving the city just after 7:15 a.m. tomorrow for some tough interviewing. Really, I’ve gotten...
Oh and we had good beer too
I went to Avenue Q in the big city last night. Granted, it was a community production and not traveling Broadway, as I’d thought in the beginning, but the talent in the puppetry, music and acting was fantastic. It was also in this quaint little theater with a bar, just an offbeat neighborhood of sorts. It really made me nostalgic for all the plays my mom took me to in our community theater....
6 tags
I'm off to enjoy the weather with a picnic for...
I don’t think the fact that after interviewing to preview a brown-bag luncheon I went and made a turkey sandwich with chips, is the exact marketing that the luncheon creator had in mind.
Alas, it made a turkey sandwich sound good to me, and I didn’t spend money on food today. Thanks, shameless brown-bag luncheon promoter.
A cynical mind that has to work before the game,...
Why is it so bright?
During the week, I refuse to walk across town to class. But here we are. Leaving the market, headed toward the stadium. Cool.
Does the term “dry campus” really benefit anyone?
Oh look, a fake waterfall with our logo the crowd is gathering around. And THAT is what your 20-grand-a-year pays for at this college, kids.
Yes, I’d love to look through this...
August 2012
8 posts
Day five: six things you wish you’d never done
Like Danae, I’m going to struggle with this: I don’t regret, or try really hard not to. Alas:
I wish I’d listened to my gut instinct senior year and hadn’t let bias/fallacy slide by me when commented by teachers. I wish I had fact-checked those comments about there being no remembered law that let college students sit out on the Vietnam war, among other comments that I later found to be either...
6 tags
“He put the school paper before God, just like we asked!”
Day four: seven things that cross your mind a lot
I wonder if this is the last day of mine, or someone close to me’s life. Will I be picking up pieces of tragedy tomorrow? Will someone else be from me being gone from Earth forever? (There is not one day I don’t think this).
That face. That hair. Those eyes. Random words that were said. Everything that wasn’t, but everything that finally was. Is this really over, or are we just destined to be...
Social Networking apps defined by your real-life...
Foursquare
Foursquare is That Guy. You know he means well, you know he’s a sweetheart and you’re sure he’s not trying to be socially awkward as possible. You kind of hope some girl someday likes him, mostly so he’ll stop whining about always being in the friend-zone.
Yet he still just says the most awkward things at inopportune times, as in, the things no one else would...
