There were two things I predicted happening in the “big enterprise” I’ve been blogging about.
The first, was crying. Just the concept of what I’m reporting making me break down. This hasn’t happened, in part because I had about a week to prepare for the process. I’m also not a huge crier. Emotion hits me and I feel more than any other human being probably ever, but it just doesn’t generate tears. The second, was nightmares.
After two weeks, my editor sent me my draft back, complete with comments. It needs cut, by about 1,500 words. But sleeping on it really helped. Forming the story came together much better this time.
Hours of reshaping the story later, I came home, fell right asleep and the nightmare happened. I lived it, I was there, I knew the subjects and the grief. I completely broke down in the dream, but waking up, I was calm. I knew I experienced their side, what they see. All of this, of course, in the subconscious, abstract story the mind creates.
Give it two follow-up answers and more cutting, the story will be in print. It’s taught me about reporting, researching and life — now it’s going to make me a better writer to boot.
But first there were midterms, far more important than my student-reporting (sadly). Fortunately for fall break, I have four to five days of ME time. I don’t have the money for a trip, but I do have the time to get things done and clear my head.
After finishing my eight-week photography class final just before 10 p.m. last night, I came home, barely able to keep my eyes open. I woke up to an amazing storm, complete with roof-shaking thunder that left me counting between the booms and lightnings before drifting back to sleep. Next week this enterprise will see print, I’ll send it off to internships and be at work as hard as possible. But for now, fall thunderstorms, cleaning and relaxation.
